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On The Bus
On The Bus

I made the decision to try out sending Larkin on the bus to school and that has had my stomach in knots for a while. She has been walking for 9 months so it made sense to try out transportation that allows her some independence. Seems fair huh? Easier said then done. The bus turned the corner and I waved from the window and watched as the driver turned around and pulled up in front of the house. Strangers. They don't her story. They don't know this girl. They don't know the pain, angst, struggle, and all the ologists in this little girls life. They don't know the fight we have given to get her to standing on this curb. I helped her up the big steps. I said hello to the driver and the aide. They were pleasant and helpful. I always appreciate when others speak directly to Larkin and treat her like a little person. I tell the aide that Larkin is non verbal. What I want to do is give her the 7 page Word document I hand to every caregiver so they can see paragraph by horrible paragraph ~ her story. I help her into the big seat and she looks out the window. The aide snaps her seat belt in place. I stepped back and took a picture. Just as her first set of skeletal x-rays, chest x-ray, heart echo, EKG, EEG, MRI, CT scan, my heart sank and every single mommy fiber of me screamed to grab her back. To grab her and run away. To run from these strangers and hide away with her and protect every hair on her beautiful head. I recognize the symptoms. I steeled my hands into fists and took a deep breath. I told the strangers to take her safely to school and bring her home the same. I stepped backward off the bus. I took a picture. I let go. Because all of the firsts that I listed above gave us the path to helping this little girl stand on that curb. Get on that bus. Sit in that seat. Look out that window. She is a beauty to behold. She is amazing. She is Grace and Redemption personified. She is my heart, soul, spirit, and my love. Walking back to the front door I could hear Brin and Erin crying for me and I sat with both babies on the floor of the foyer and cried with them. I pulled it together until I heard Larkin's stuffed Tad toy begin his learning time music. Tad was alone and my tears began again. That is until Brin quickly crawled over to him, happy as a clam when she realized that big sister was not going to bonk her over the head for playing with him. Laughing I turned into Erin and began our new first of morning with the twins, my heart, soul, spirit, and my loves, until the big girl comes home and we are complete.

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Comments (1,000 character limit)

Jack Hawley, United States, IL
1/27/2011 9:16:51 AM
This is a great story, well told.

Shelley Williams, United States, IL
1/26/2011 10:10:01 PM
a beautiful story......a amazing and beautiful girl.......just like her wonderful continue to touch others with your strength and grace.

Gillian Marchenko, United States, IL
1/26/2011 9:46:25 PM
Wonderful story!

Lisa Shirley, United States, IL
1/26/2011 3:38:36 PM
Amy, your amazing stories of Larkin and your incredible family continue to touch our hearts! Thanks for sharing such and tender and inspirational story of love and motherhood.

Charlott Dresback, United States, IL
1/26/2011 1:32:25 PM
What a wonderful and tearful story, I had chills up and down through the entire story. Thank you for sharing the story and letting us feel what you felt. 0 1 0

Brandi Pierce, United States, IL
1/26/2011 3:35:17 AM

Greg Lykins, United States, IL
1/25/2011 4:54:04 PM
Larkin and her family are truly remarkable . . . positively impacting an extaordinary number of people all over the world through their words and deeds.

Ela Labuz-Gudino, United States, IL
1/25/2011 1:38:55 PM
beautiful story.

Jane Barry, United States, IL
1/25/2011 1:01:26 PM
So very hard to let go but so necessary. Your are an incredible mother, Amy.

annette klinzing , United States, IL
1/25/2011 9:45:43 AM
Wonderful story!

Jo Newman, United States, IL
1/25/2011 4:13:00 AM
I loved your story. Deja vu. My daughter is now 15 and I want you to know that it does get better.

Karen McKenzie , United States, LA
1/25/2011 2:54:20 AM
Larkin is truly an amazing little girl and her family has shared her story so that we may all be better people.

Jill Kemper, United States, IL
1/24/2011 6:13:25 PM
What a wonderful story. My eyes filed with tears as I will soon realize that same fear with my little guy.

Deb Newell, United States, IL
1/24/2011 2:17:50 PM
You are such a wonderful writer, Amy, and you bring all your struggles and joys into our hearts. Thank you.

Rose Zerra, United States, FL
1/24/2011 2:09:57 PM
My son looked so tiny in the car seat on the bus as it drove away on his first day in school. He loved going off to school and felt so independent

Suzanne Aldridge, United States , IL
1/24/2011 1:36:21 PM
Wonderful. Moving. Vividly real. What insight in your lives. It makes me realize that I should never take things for granted. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.

Deborah, United States, GA
1/24/2011 1:09:42 PM
What a trooper in more ways than any of us can ever know!!!

Terry Oneill, United States, IL
1/24/2011 11:39:31 AM
What a beautiful story of a beautiful family. Very well written an touches the heart!

Serena Hoff, United States, IL
1/24/2011 10:32:54 AM
Beautifully written. Such emotion is always hard to capture and make sense of. Thank you for sharing and letting us into your world.

Abby Waters, United States, IL
1/24/2011 10:04:22 AM
Beautiful story written from a beautiful mother. Thank you for sharing this story. I eagerly await reading the progress that sweet Larkin makes year, each month, each day. Love you Amy xoxo

Sara Sullivan, United States, IL
1/24/2011 9:44:55 AM
Loved your story, Amy!! Big tears rolling down my checks. Thanks for sharing.

Dr. Susan Zola, United States, IL
1/24/2011 9:23:27 AM
very powerful story of strength, courage, and triumph

Jo Anne Kenyon, United States, IL
1/24/2011 9:19:49 AM
Thank you for sharing such a tender moment.

Tara Wilson, United States, IL
1/24/2011 9:12:16 AM
This is a beautiful story.

Nancy Sullivan, United States, IL
1/24/2011 8:54:07 AM
Amazing story........tears in my eyes with each word I read!!!!

Tami Gray, United States, IL
1/24/2011 8:33:31 AM
What a wonderful and heartfelt story that everyone can relate to!

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